Today's Lolcat shot, that is not really cats, but does offer a lol.

So we finished the change of status paperwork, thanks to the help of a lawyer, sort of.

My Income for last year pulls me under the threshold for sponsoring solo. I have to find a joint sponsor.

A Joint Sponsor doesn't actually have to do anything, despite all the scary paperwork. But they do have to produce three years of tax records and a birth certificate. Neither of my parents are big on releasing tax records. Then again, neither am I, really. But I'm in L-O-V-E. And stuff. And well, he's my husband. I'm not real inclined to buy into this whole "We're going to ship him back to Egypt if you can't find another 2 grand to push you over the threshold, despite the fact that you can clear treshold with current income." But see THAT would be common sense...which has NOTHING to do with Immigration Law.

Have you ever heard anyone say that "90% of the law is common sense."? Yeah..we found the other ten percent.

Mom came to town to work for the week. Happy to have her around for a bit. I drink more when she's about, but never anything worth mentioning. You hardly see someone going "OMG I was so wasted on that margarita I had at lunch man!"

Job's fine. Life's fine. LERV being married to this guy (he does dishes!)

Trying to think of what to make for dinner tonight....though I'm likely to just pick something up on the way home.

Oh and Bath & Body works is having their 5 for $25 sale online. So go hit it there.

DONE DID IT

Yeah, I did.

It was quiet, it was simple. It was surprisingly quick. I couldn't be Happier. I got my Mrs. A little faster than we thought, but in light of some recent events, we didn't really have the luxury or desire to wait around.

Actually marrying him meant he needed to change his status in the US. I made the offer to sponsor him, NOT the other way around. Of course that's because us Americans are taught all our lives how open and accepting we are of immigrants and so I figured the process would be easy.

W-R-O-N-G!!!!!!!!!

This Blog may well become a Chronicle of my "Adventures in Immigration".

Let's explain the process, as best I have it now. And watch it change over the next year or so?

The Hub is entitled to certain benefits being married to a United States Citizen. Among those (Other than his own USAA Account) is an automatic permanent resident status or "Green Card." This green card is conditional upon his marriage to me and upon our remaining married for the next two years. After those Two Years, I will have to apply again to have the conditional status removed. The form you fill out to start this process is called an I-130.

I now firmly believe that the Department of Homeland Security has turned to Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy for their training manual. I really should build a little flow chart for folks so they can see how all these departments connect..but..they don't actually connect, they don't even talk to each other. But I have been told NUMEROUS times that USCIS (Snazzy Anagram for United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) is a subdepartment of DHS (Department of Homeland Security) and has within it, not only the USCIS, but Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), and the Executive Office for Immigration Review (EOIR). Not to mention the TSA (Who I know have a proper name, but for whom I have a very nasty name in light of my last random security check). So let me cover this again....

HOMELAND SECURITY is the office that processes and handles the paperwork associated with a change in status from temporary to permanent resident. The same people who make us take off our shoes at the airport, who have determined that I am going to hijack a 747 with a bottle of Prell, who have color coded each and every day of my life since 9/11....this INCREDIBLY useful, efficient model of Governmental science is going to Usefully and Efficiently document and uphold my rights, and the rights of my husband?

Should I really be surprised that this process can take up to a year? Some instant visa, huh?

So. Yes, Homeland Security uses Hitchiker's as their procedural guidebook. Asking why? Vogons. Yup. I now understand, deeply, inimately, what a Vogon is. They are in USCIS, and if you don't have the right color sheet of paper...you are officially and governmentally Screwed.

By the way.. this I-130? Is just my application to sponsor his change of status. Costs $350.00 to file. Does that make him a Permanent resident? NO.

He has to file, simultaneously, an I-485 Request for change of Status. This is the whopper. Essentially it's this form, his marriage certificate (he has to prove he married me, I don't.), an I-693 that says he's not crazy, not bringing in any STDs or Tuberculosis, and a serious of forms that says he's married a sugar momma who can take care of him and keep him off the welfare system for ten years. Oh and something called Biometrics, which is used for his Background check to make sure he's not a criminal on the lam. This has a WHOLE Separate set of fees attached to it that totals out close to $1100... just in fees. The Dr's appointment for the TB test and STd Tests? $400. So. we're hovering at around $2,000.00 just getting paperwork together to go into the system.

And you wonder why Mexicans just jump the fence and come on over? As Illegals, they find work just fine, get paid in cash so no taxes, and have an easier time getting on the welfare system than a legally placed permanent resident.

Trust me. Homeland Security does NOTHING to protect the Immigrant-phobes of the Nation. And they never will. Not until we figure out the right form on the right color sheet of paper.

Christmas Review

Okay, so the fella is the coolest guy on the planet. Not only did he buck it up and deal with a holiday he doesn't believe in, he actually enjoyed himself.

I think he enjoyed shopping for presents (or sending me out shopping). He enjoyed meeting my family and being around them. He enjoyed dinner. He enjoyed the cappucino machine mom sent me for Christmas. (THANKS MOM)

He enjoyed the chattering in the family, the hanging out, the closeness...

I think he even enjoyed midnight Mass.

He was scared initially. And I told him that while I would love for him to go with me, I would never force him. But I would ask him. So I asked.

And he set foot in a church for the first time in his life that night. he watched mostly. Stood up and sat down when I did, but didn't kneel, though he was curious about the kneelers. (They're padded you know)

I forgot to warn him about the "Peace be With You" bit. He seemed a little surprised. But overall he was cool with the whole thing. he's ben rather tight lipped to me on his impressions. Though I can't quite tell if it's because his English doesn't express it as well, or if he's just not entirely sure what to think.

Lessee. Oh yeah, changed Jobs. Went back to Law. Love my Boss. Love my office.

FOUND THE LUSH STORE IN ATLANTA! Stocked up. Am Planning on making a trek up there as soon as time and finances permit to go crazy.

Making a Chicken cheezy pasta thing for dinner tonight with a salad and garlic toasted Artisan Bread.

And of course things continue to be forthcoming. Love my T-Mobile Wing though.

"You Have Arrived"

Or so my GPS tells me.

The spanking new Magellan Roadmate 1200.

Pictures forthcoming, and further review.

I suck at Blogging

You ever just runout of stuff to say?

Or... is there ever so much happening, you can't seem to find the time or brain power to post it all?

I've been proposed to. Seriously legitmately, ring in hand talked to my dad proposed to.

Which... get this...My Dad? He loves him. My Very Southern, dad, who I had always seen as one of the more prejudiced influences in my life...asked him to go play golf. He never asked the ex to do anything (not that I blame him). But My dad smacking balls on the driving range with his Egyptian son-in-law is not an image I ever really built in my mind.

I'm still trying to man up and break it to Mom and Steve. Which, I guess if they read my blog, then I suppose I have.

I say break it, because I worry that my getting remarried (especially in light of the fact I haven't been divorced for a terribly long time) will make me seem weak, or needy or I don't know.. less independent that I should be or something.

Here's the clincher...and I'll say it to you nice anonymous or semi-anonymous readers before I will my own parents. I'm crazy in love with him. I am more sure about marrying this guy in less than a year than I was in five years of living with the ex. He cranks my tractor, revs my engine..whatever you want to call it. But it's not the crazy biological thing I had in Canada... this is.. spiritual. It's a weird simple connection.. someone who likes to get ice cream on Sundays at Coldstone Creamery. Someone who thinks the best food is cooked at home. Someone who will stop in the middle of a commute because the sunset looks awesome. Someone who just knows when I need a hug, or an ear... and here's the weird part... someone who I seem to be able to know that stuff about too. Someone who couldn't posibly come from amore different background...who gets me, and who I get more than I ever have anyone.

Yes, we have covered the kids base....Though I'll unveil that bridge when we burn it, and the Why.

Other things I need to do:

Product reviews for the following new toys: The T-Mobile Wing (Happy Birthday to me!); the iPod iTouch (Happy Birthday to me also)

Book reviews for: The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf and Does My Head Look Big In This

And my Lament about my Amazon Wish List...and the afianced's first experience with family holidays (the redneck side not the screaming techno-liberal side)

And well. Holy Crap. I'm getting married....again....

5 hours to Costco

Montgomery gets it's very first Costco in five hours. Not a milisecond to soon. Would have been handy for it to be open at the start of Ramadan, but hey we takes what we gets.

I now have great respect for the large meals my Mom puts together at Christmas. It'snotjust the cooking, it's the cleaningup too.

Tonight's Eftar: Roast Chicken, mashed potatoes, parker house rolls, something green and healthy, cucumber dill salad, and something sweet from Fresh Market. Will probably also set out some hummus with the dates.

Wake Up CNN!

I've been sluggish this month, I know, and sorry for that.

So I got the new iPod nano. At 150 bucks and with video capability, I no longerhad an excuse to avoid the incredibly addictive allure of Apple hype.

Well, let's start out by saying it's not hype. I LOVE this thing. It's adorable, tiny, and the screen is surprisingly clear. Plus, it really opened up the whole iTunes fun for me.

I found Podcasts. LOTS of Podcasts. From all over the world. And that segues nicely into my current topic.

When I first moved to Canada, I was really stunned by the news. I had gotten so used to US news that I had almost forgotten the rest of the world was out there. All of a sudden we weren't doing the right thing. Iraqi children were bleeding in the streets, not bouncing along after HumV's that were throwing candy out the windows. Women weeping streetside werento weeping out of joy, but because they couldn't purchase or prepare food for their families. This was a VERY ugly America. Totally messed up my head. I mean America's the country of free speach, we have rules that protect the press and let them say whatever they want about America. And they still sugarcoat things for us?

I think I had almost forgotten about that moving back to the US. The news feeds us, and we forget, as it's pretty much constant, that it is not a perfect unbiased look at anything. We get lulled into the news. It's our lullaby, our coffee, but it never truly wakes us up.

So I found a podcast called Mosaic, which is produced by LinkTV. It takes chunks of news from Middle Eastern countries and mushes them together into a neat little 30 minute show. Want to know how bad the American Bias is?

The Iranian President shows up for the UN and gives a talk at Colombia U. Good. I like hearing what people have to say, especially when they are on the other side of a war from us. All three major news channels: CNN, Fox, and MSNBC reported on this pretty momentous occaision. There was hype as he wanted to give his anti-America speach at Ground Zero. We were all jazed up. And I imagine most of America got great chuckle when all three news networks reported that there are no Gays in Iran. Which, byt the way, is the entirety of what was reported.

So I catch the Mosaic podcast for the same day. Al Jazeera, Israel News, Dubai, Palestine all covered the same event. But what do they report? Not the gay remark. Not one single word of it. Instead they showed the VERY scary things he said about their nuclear program. They showed the French President calling him out on it. Wait a minute? Why didn't one of our networks cover this? Egypt, one of Israel's first (and few) arab Nation supporters is starting to buckle under the influence of the Islamic Brotherhood, a fundamentalist movement seeking to restore Sharia to Egypt...on the surface. They're also a very anti-Israel movement. Don't know if anyone noticed but (a) Egypt is RIGHT NEXT to Israel...and (b) They have fought with Israel before over borders that are still a little sketchy. Does anyone else think Egypt going anti-Israel is a bad thing?

Where the heck is this on the American news? Quit trying to make Iran and the Arab world a joke and start seriously looking at who is coming into power. That's news to wake up to.