Wake Up CNN!

I've been sluggish this month, I know, and sorry for that.

So I got the new iPod nano. At 150 bucks and with video capability, I no longerhad an excuse to avoid the incredibly addictive allure of Apple hype.

Well, let's start out by saying it's not hype. I LOVE this thing. It's adorable, tiny, and the screen is surprisingly clear. Plus, it really opened up the whole iTunes fun for me.

I found Podcasts. LOTS of Podcasts. From all over the world. And that segues nicely into my current topic.

When I first moved to Canada, I was really stunned by the news. I had gotten so used to US news that I had almost forgotten the rest of the world was out there. All of a sudden we weren't doing the right thing. Iraqi children were bleeding in the streets, not bouncing along after HumV's that were throwing candy out the windows. Women weeping streetside werento weeping out of joy, but because they couldn't purchase or prepare food for their families. This was a VERY ugly America. Totally messed up my head. I mean America's the country of free speach, we have rules that protect the press and let them say whatever they want about America. And they still sugarcoat things for us?

I think I had almost forgotten about that moving back to the US. The news feeds us, and we forget, as it's pretty much constant, that it is not a perfect unbiased look at anything. We get lulled into the news. It's our lullaby, our coffee, but it never truly wakes us up.

So I found a podcast called Mosaic, which is produced by LinkTV. It takes chunks of news from Middle Eastern countries and mushes them together into a neat little 30 minute show. Want to know how bad the American Bias is?

The Iranian President shows up for the UN and gives a talk at Colombia U. Good. I like hearing what people have to say, especially when they are on the other side of a war from us. All three major news channels: CNN, Fox, and MSNBC reported on this pretty momentous occaision. There was hype as he wanted to give his anti-America speach at Ground Zero. We were all jazed up. And I imagine most of America got great chuckle when all three news networks reported that there are no Gays in Iran. Which, byt the way, is the entirety of what was reported.

So I catch the Mosaic podcast for the same day. Al Jazeera, Israel News, Dubai, Palestine all covered the same event. But what do they report? Not the gay remark. Not one single word of it. Instead they showed the VERY scary things he said about their nuclear program. They showed the French President calling him out on it. Wait a minute? Why didn't one of our networks cover this? Egypt, one of Israel's first (and few) arab Nation supporters is starting to buckle under the influence of the Islamic Brotherhood, a fundamentalist movement seeking to restore Sharia to Egypt...on the surface. They're also a very anti-Israel movement. Don't know if anyone noticed but (a) Egypt is RIGHT NEXT to Israel...and (b) They have fought with Israel before over borders that are still a little sketchy. Does anyone else think Egypt going anti-Israel is a bad thing?

Where the heck is this on the American news? Quit trying to make Iran and the Arab world a joke and start seriously looking at who is coming into power. That's news to wake up to.

Second time down the aisle?

I’m often asked if or when will I marry again. Did the first time leave such a bad taste in my mouth? I don’t know really. So I’ll write it out and see if it does.

I met the Ex when I was 19. Not so much one on looks, I was seeking substance. I mean this in the least possibly vain way, but hot guys with no brains were a dime a dozen to me and I would inevitably lose patience with them and drop them, making them feel worthless and making me feel insensitive. The Ex was attractive, but he was smart too. He was also 25.

I strung him along for a couple of months, keeping him as a friend but not letting the relationship lapse into “Dating” per se. Mind you, he wasn’t allowed to date anyone else, but I was. God I was a selfish spoiled little brat at 19.

Eventually I got tired of that, and figured he wouldn’t hang around forever, so we started dating, and dating lapsed into living together. I found myself shedding a lot of my own life in favor of adapting to his. I ate like him, slept like him, read like him. He was, honestly, my very best friend, and in retrospect, we loved (and still love) each other dearly, but lacked that….chemistry that makes a married couple married, you know?

We had the big wedding. We went through some incredible tragedies, but we had each other, and stuck it out. Then, when there wasn’t anything wrong anymore…no more joint adversary, we turned on each other…hard.

10 years of relationship, five years of marriage fell apart because nothing was wrong…

So the idea of marriage kind of weirded me out after that. I’ve been through my “Marriage is a tool of the devil” phase and my “all marriages fail, so what’s the point?” phase. Add in a “I like him too much to marry him” phase, and well I come out on the other side.

I know how much work it is. I know how much of a personal sacrifice it is of space, privacy and individuality. Most importantly, I know where I went wrong, and see how I could easily avoid making that mistake again. I want to have a family someday, so I suppose that means getting married.

But the idea is scary as hell, the investment of time, money and emotions is staggering, especially when you’re concerned those are three things you don’t have enough of for yourself.

The Fella and I are coming up on being together for eight months. In that time, I’ve decided things are really good. He’s a wonderful kind person, calm, bright, polite and well-mannered. I find him incredibly attractive. His pace is a LOT slower than mine. I’m more of a “Make the decision, execute the decision” kind of person…he takes his time…something that I know drives me bonkers.

I have to decide if the things I don’t like about him are things I can live with for the rest of my life. Because the only thing I can tell you for certain today is that should I get married again, I will become a widow before I will be a divorcee`.