Comments...Kewl!

Super mega thanks for the comments on previous posts Seeker and Nur.

Nur, I'm noticing a similar tendency in "The Fella." I was asked by a Rabbi friend of mine if I ever thought he would raise a hand to me. I laughed and said "I seriously don't think he's ever raised a hand to anyone." His personal sense of serenity and calm is what motivated me to rethink some of my previous ideas on Islam in the first place.

Don't be offended by the Rabbi, It wasn't a rude or offensive question, it was a question of concern and would have been asked no matter the faith or nationality of "the Fella".

It was actually an interesting set of questions I was asked. "Where is he from?" "Is he devout?" "How does he treat women other than you?" "Where did he go to school?" "What happens when you disagree?" "Do you think he would ever raise a hand to you?"

The Rabbi in question lives in Jerusalem, so he asks those questions based on his experiences. At the same time, he knows that his experience is not a universal, so his tones were more of a caring curiousity than anything. I have been far more brutal in my personal inquisition of "The Fella".

I hear "That's culture, not the religion," a lot when I pin the Fella down on religious/political issues. On one hand, I understand where he comes from, he doesn't do these things, he abhors them, he wants peace and love and for people to grow and learn and live together just like it says in the Qu'ran. But people aren't learning and living and growing together. So he sort of winds up sounding like he's washing his hands of the whole mess. When Western Muslims do that...I knwo where it comes from, that sense of powerlessnes...but it ends up being a removal from the problem, instead of working toward a Solution.

Is there even the possibility of a 2-state solution for Israel? Why do Arab nations continue to feed this conflict by deporting and turning away Palestinian refugees, funding suicide bombers, and turning Mickey Mouse into Farfour? The Qu'ran does not dispute or deny that the Jewish people were rescued from Egypt and taken to Israel by Moses under God's guidance. As sacred, and precious as Israel is to any Abrahamic Faith, why can't we come together to find a solution to protect that region instead of destroying it?

Jews are People of the Book as well. And according to the Qu'ran should be treated kindly, their faith and beliefs will not keep them from God.

Ran a series of "Living Checks" last night. Have only confirmed one of my friends is alive. Will go another round again this evening to make sure folks is livin.

Again thanks for reading, and stuff. I sound crazy, I'm sure as I rant my way through my thoughts, trying to put them in order.

I guess I need to make this part clear, since I haven't really.

I'm not doing very well at being Catholic.

There. I admitted it. I can say a rosary, understand a Latin Mass, I've been the to Vatican, and to Fatima. I have had every opportunity to have deeply moving religious experience. And the expectations are just falling a little short. Okay, a lot short. Okay so Basically I'm finding my personal ideaology butting heads with Catholicism a LOT.

What's worse is that the Church has changed so much, so many people have died or moved that I don't recognize it anymore. It's hard going back there. I think I spent half of the Liturgy of the Word crying because the church makes me think so much of Grammie and how much I miss her.

I don't know if I can stay this way.

So I'm doing my homework, trying to understand other faiths and what's going on before making any real move.

I narrowed it down. Judaism is most likely out. It's an awful lot of my life to reject. Granted though, it would make work a lot easier.

Becoming a protestant doesn't really slice my cheesecake either. It feels more like a lateral move, and doesn't really clear up any questions for me.

Islam makes sense, sort of. But what looks good on paper does not look so good in practice. So.. I'm confused. Welcome to my world.

I'm also terrified that this has more to do with the "Fella" than it does with me. And that's something I just couldn't live with. I guess maybe I hope sometimes I'd understand him better that way. But That's not what's going on in my head since I don't understand myself.

In other news. No matter how amicable the divorce, or how friendly things seem on the surface, Ex's still have a gift to be right bastardly toward each other.

This is for Kelley and John...Things I miss.

My mother sent this to me after a run-in with my boss and his dietary restrictions. Funny, yet informative. Kelley should appreciate this immensely.

In other news, I asked politely, even made big sad eyes, but the fella has politely declined having his own Blogpost in my bloggy bits. So any future references I may make in that direction will be appropriately discreet. If you're reading and don't know who I mean, call me and ask me.

Two days in a row...bask in my attentiveness.

So one of my big religious issues right now is the role of women. If you've looked at my stepfather's blog, you can probably tell I was raised pretty liberal, and well, it has to be said for both parents: I've never been told I can't do something because I'm a girl.

Sports shooting is one of my hobbies. Not the most ladylike thing to do, but I enjoy the heck out of it, and I've never been told I can't do it. Well, I was told that once..in Kentuky at a match. One of the guys in my set spouted off that girls can't shoot because they lack upper body strength. After finishing out at an embarassingly better time, I couldn't help but point out that girls can shoot because they lack upper macho ego. That's a lecture for another time though.

The point being, neither of my parents have ever stopped me from doing anything because I'm a girl, and in fact they have mostly defended my right to do it. So when it comes to religion, my understanding of gender roles is a little...odd. I've never been taught that I was any less capable than any man, so I don't think that I am.

So then comes Catholicism. "Man is the head of woman, and God is the head of man." Eve is responsible for original sin, and because of that, all desire, all lust, all vice is born on the shoulders of women. Wow. Tough load to bear. The idea that everything bad men do is because of women kind of turns my stomach. Women are inferior in the eyes of God, and cannot serve him directly as men, though certainly they can devote their chaste lives to Him. Meh. But here's the thing....that's Catholicism on paper. But when you look at countries that have majority Catholic populations, you see something entirely different. Europe, with its progressive views on equality and gender roles is a continent with a LOT of Catholics. Brasil, South America, Central America, are Catholic dominated areas, and yet we don't hear about honor killings from them. That same verse from the new testament I started this paragraph with? Finishes by explaining that God does not hear the prayers of women whose heads are not covered. And while I remember older women at church dropping a lace hankie on their heads, no one covers here anymore.

So why is it so different in Islam? Why is a religion that on paper is progressive sexually, and on a gender basis, the dominant religion of countries who host honor killings, or practice female genital mutilation? Why is a religion that says I am worth as much to God as any man the prime religion in countries that discourage women from learning and working outside the home? And the ever unanswered question: If women are spiritually equal, why can't they lead men in prayer? Why do these cultures believe that the sight or sound of women is enough to drive a man beyond reason..as if men were slathering hormone driven beasts with no further thought on their mind than sex? If a man is pious and good, and is taught early on that women are his peers, wouldn't he be raised able to be in their company without making a pass at one of them?

People say that the culture is different from the religion..to look at the raw teachings. How can I? No one follows them.

More on this later.... Lunch now.

This is Harley, my sweetest snuggliest baby girl. She's sitting in my lap for this shot, which is where she spends much of her time. This is also my first stab at mobile-blogging from my phone, which makes this pretty slick stuff.

Yeah I know, I suck.

Sorry for the long long long time getting back to this. I've been busy as all heck.

Mom and Steve sold the house at the end of May, which meant I had to beat feet and get my pad. I sorta kinda met somebody..in that...sorta kinda way. Hard to define really. He at least merits his own post, which I'll ask him nicely about later and if he says okay, then I'll go into details. Mom and Steve have met him, Shana's talked to him on the phone a couple of times. Dad knows he exists but hasn't met him.

Changed jobs. I'm settled in one of Montgomery's best-known Real Estate management corporations. Pretty happy. I like my boss, even when no one else seems to.

I have a Facebook! Yeah I know, It's no Emo-space. But, I'm trying. Maybe someday I'll sucker up for am Emo space and play Fado on it all day long. Maybe I won't.

Going through a crisis of faith. Moving back to Montgomery meant going back to the church I've always gone to. But things have changed so much, and I realize that a lot of the things I took for granted as a kid are not meshing well in my over-analytical mind.

Linked up Steve's blog there, not that people read this blog much, his is much prettier though and the stories are funnier..well except about Angel.

You know how I was talking about direction? I'm thinking maybe I'll just vent my religious rantings here as I study other faiths and kind of get an idea of which one is right for me. For the record, most Protestant faiths are right out. Some things are just too ingrained in me as a Catholic to give in to. And besides, my faith issues aren't so much about keeping my belief structure and just changing the way I go about it. That's just trading baseball teams. It doesn't mean I'll win. I'm going through my Bo Jackson/ Michael Jordan phase of religion...I'm looking at all sorts of different things to get some ideas of where my faith is and where I might best fit in.

And that about should catch you up. I'll try to get pictures put up soon.